Lost

Contradiction.
There are moments of pure panic when the real me surfaces to strangers. Yet, I like myself. Once I trust, however, it takes a bulldozer to shovel that faith. Of course, in the process you have the green card to shard me.

It was scary, but you were my best friend, I let you in, put a hole in the old fences. When I found out how far back all these took place, it felt like someone ripped my heart apart all over again. Why did you lie to me?

You made a choice, and I had a right to know from the beginning.Grieving and second guessing what went wrong between us was so confusing and wrenching.I really tried hating you, but I do not have it in me. So here I am, letting the undeserving you trample all over my heart.

For the first time,it feels like a sham, the memories cheapened and respect lost.