My dear friend, tagged me in a survey about weddings. She of course knows that I am a dreamy romantic whose ideal past time is to set up her friends.
The thing is, I don't believe in marriage.
Coming from an Asian background,a marriage appears to be a licence to have sexual intercourse. You see,people in my country can be trialled under the syariah courts for having premarital sex. Telling your parents you are sexually active is still taboo in most homes. Sex is evil. Period.
From an Indian perspective, it seems like girls are treated like fruits, needed to be sold before they rot and stink. Marry them off before,god forbid they are old maids whose biological clocks has chimed!
I have seen many powerful man in my life, and their trophy wives. Many men who love their wives, and also several others. How many business meetings consist of going with the flow ,of drinks and women? Do brothels survive on the hormones of 18 year-old boys with no money?
And women, the so-called fairer sex.The marrying for money, status and security.
I don't want a marriage, it is scary.
I want a friend.A friends who is as crazy as I am. A friend whom I can make silly nerdy jokes with and fight with everyday; from politics to the Doppler effect. A friend whom I trust with my life. A friend whose company is home and shoulders are heaven. A friend who doesn't comply with convention and would rally against the world with me. A friend with abundant optimism; we are going to change the world you see. A friend whom appreciates the beauty in little things, in us.
Needless to say, I know fairy tales are not true. But,just in case I get lucky, eloping would just be fine by me, dear sir.
p/s: need to make parents happy, hence the need for eloping. Just finished an exam, pardon the grammatical errors...ok, must go noe...sleep becons
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
What are you looking for?
Dead,dry, red roses.
Lay there bookmarking the imminent ticking of the clock.
Passion and responsibilities.
We choose. Time doesn't stop. We waver. Time doesn't stop.
Walking down,down and up,searching.
Repeating, waiting, hoping.
Does it feel right?
Does it scare you?
Does it take your breath away?
I hope you find it.
Lay there bookmarking the imminent ticking of the clock.
Passion and responsibilities.
We choose. Time doesn't stop. We waver. Time doesn't stop.
Walking down,down and up,searching.
Repeating, waiting, hoping.
Does it feel right?
Does it scare you?
Does it take your breath away?
I hope you find it.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Reaching, touching and living
There is so much insanity, so much cruelty.
Men wage a war, a war on thousands; the young, the frail, the poor and the innocent average joes just because "his" people were killed in a freaky,flighty terrorist attack. The same man who would not condone a child whacking another into a pulp for provoking him or her,would use millions of dollars to build a merciless, incredibly high-tech army to bring his enemies into a broken,ashen state.
It is pride. It is a statement of power.
You can argue, when in fear, men are reduced to animals. Their first instinct is to attack, to keep their family safe.
What about the second war?
We see so much hypocrisy,racism,fanaticism and blood.
What are we leaving our children?
A scary world filled with zealots of all kind?
Well, yes, we are but then some.
There is enough,enough love I see, to keep the faith.
Enough compassion,honesty and care. You see, there are beautiful fragrant souls that will keep us breathing, giving us time to nurture another.
And one day,we will change the world.
Men wage a war, a war on thousands; the young, the frail, the poor and the innocent average joes just because "his" people were killed in a freaky,flighty terrorist attack. The same man who would not condone a child whacking another into a pulp for provoking him or her,would use millions of dollars to build a merciless, incredibly high-tech army to bring his enemies into a broken,ashen state.
It is pride. It is a statement of power.
You can argue, when in fear, men are reduced to animals. Their first instinct is to attack, to keep their family safe.
What about the second war?
We see so much hypocrisy,racism,fanaticism and blood.
What are we leaving our children?
A scary world filled with zealots of all kind?
Well, yes, we are but then some.
There is enough,enough love I see, to keep the faith.
Enough compassion,honesty and care. You see, there are beautiful fragrant souls that will keep us breathing, giving us time to nurture another.
And one day,we will change the world.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Awkward moments define my life
Found this on the wall of a facebook group's wall called "Awkward moments define my life" and taught it was hilarious.and a little close to home...xexe
Type:
Common Interest - Self-help
Description:
if you've ever...
1. walked down the hall and someone you know is really far away but you dont want to make eye contact too soon yet you dont want to miss it so you look at them then look away..
2. gone in for a hug and had your arms the wrong way or your heads both go the same direction then you bump heads
3. kept bumping in to someone... they walk right you walk right, they walk left you walk left etc.
4. messed up a high five; theres many ways to do this believe me... high fived it when they went for a pound. high fived someone when they ment to highfive the person BEHIND you and so on.
5. waved to someone when they were waving to someone behind you
6. grabbing someone elses food [i.e. drinking someone elses smoothie...]
7. someone spoke to you in bad english and you just smiled and nodded yes when the question wasnt a yes or no question
8. awkward silences.
9. calling somones name when its not them.
10. calling someones name and they dont hear you so everyone stares at you when you look like your talking to yourself
11. awkward conversations in general
12. stuck talking to someone and you both slowly start walking different ways
13. saying bye and then walking the same way as that person
14. talking really loud when loud music is on and then people turn it down and you say something really loud
15. typing something while another person ims you and you always end up sending them really weird sounding things by mistake
16. Walking down the hall and being at the point where you know them but you are not sure if you know them enough to say hi yet, so you dont
17. having a hole in your pants
18. joining in on a random conversation followed by stares
19. when you're at a restaurant and the waiter says "enjoy your meal" and you say "you too" only realizing later that they aren't going to eat anything
20. talking about a group of people or people who are of a certain ethnicity/religion or whatever and having somone of that group be right there.. also talking about somone whos behind and/or next to you
21. and best of all you just love to make awkward smiles in pictures.
22. told a joke that no one laughed at (or one that only YOU thought was funny)
23. told a story that people respond with "here we go again" or "that was the most worthless story i've ever heard"
24. this group.
25. sang REALLY loud and then someone changes the station or whatnot leaving you singing REALLY loud for a second or two..
26. on facebook you think your writing back to someone but then a day or two later you realize you had written it on your own wall. yeah you're awesome
27. getting caught hooking up...in front of ur parents
28. being in a different country where they dont speak english and saying something about someone and they understand you
...if any of these have ever happened to you, you're not alone. welcome, because who isnt awkward :)
Maybe some of my additions:
29. Show up in the wrong house for dinner
30. Call up the wrong person, and then try to make conversation.
31. Mix up radius and diameter, left and right
32. Someone says "thank you" and you reply with "thank you".
Type:
Common Interest - Self-help
Description:
if you've ever...
1. walked down the hall and someone you know is really far away but you dont want to make eye contact too soon yet you dont want to miss it so you look at them then look away..
2. gone in for a hug and had your arms the wrong way or your heads both go the same direction then you bump heads
3. kept bumping in to someone... they walk right you walk right, they walk left you walk left etc.
4. messed up a high five; theres many ways to do this believe me... high fived it when they went for a pound. high fived someone when they ment to highfive the person BEHIND you and so on.
5. waved to someone when they were waving to someone behind you
6. grabbing someone elses food [i.e. drinking someone elses smoothie...]
7. someone spoke to you in bad english and you just smiled and nodded yes when the question wasnt a yes or no question
8. awkward silences.
9. calling somones name when its not them.
10. calling someones name and they dont hear you so everyone stares at you when you look like your talking to yourself
11. awkward conversations in general
12. stuck talking to someone and you both slowly start walking different ways
13. saying bye and then walking the same way as that person
14. talking really loud when loud music is on and then people turn it down and you say something really loud
15. typing something while another person ims you and you always end up sending them really weird sounding things by mistake
16. Walking down the hall and being at the point where you know them but you are not sure if you know them enough to say hi yet, so you dont
17. having a hole in your pants
18. joining in on a random conversation followed by stares
19. when you're at a restaurant and the waiter says "enjoy your meal" and you say "you too" only realizing later that they aren't going to eat anything
20. talking about a group of people or people who are of a certain ethnicity/religion or whatever and having somone of that group be right there.. also talking about somone whos behind and/or next to you
21. and best of all you just love to make awkward smiles in pictures.
22. told a joke that no one laughed at (or one that only YOU thought was funny)
23. told a story that people respond with "here we go again" or "that was the most worthless story i've ever heard"
24. this group.
25. sang REALLY loud and then someone changes the station or whatnot leaving you singing REALLY loud for a second or two..
26. on facebook you think your writing back to someone but then a day or two later you realize you had written it on your own wall. yeah you're awesome
27. getting caught hooking up...in front of ur parents
28. being in a different country where they dont speak english and saying something about someone and they understand you
...if any of these have ever happened to you, you're not alone. welcome, because who isnt awkward :)
Maybe some of my additions:
29. Show up in the wrong house for dinner
30. Call up the wrong person, and then try to make conversation.
31. Mix up radius and diameter, left and right
32. Someone says "thank you" and you reply with "thank you".
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Lesson learned.
It is time. While I watched displays of others bitching,shunning and basking in an orgiastic display of ego, i learned. My views changed, vacilated, bounced around and now has settled down.
1) Walk away. Dignified. You may choose to set the record straight, but your friends will still see the best in the imperfect you.
2) People will let you down and you will let people down. Do not punish or beat yourself up.
3) Remember the kindness and only the good attributes of your friends.
4) If you can't, they are probably not your friends anyway.Separating from toxic people is the first big scary step. But when you finally do it, suddenly, it isn't anymore.
5) You don't need everyone to like or love you.
6) Respect is a pretty good alternative for popularity.
Thank you for those who stuck around and knocked my head while I was down with the self-destructive habits that almost veered me off the track. It is ironic that i am thankful for all that happened too. The lessons gave me a big fat blast of self-awareness and confidence. I will never be that naive or stupid ever again.
1) Walk away. Dignified. You may choose to set the record straight, but your friends will still see the best in the imperfect you.
2) People will let you down and you will let people down. Do not punish or beat yourself up.
3) Remember the kindness and only the good attributes of your friends.
4) If you can't, they are probably not your friends anyway.Separating from toxic people is the first big scary step. But when you finally do it, suddenly, it isn't anymore.
5) You don't need everyone to like or love you.
6) Respect is a pretty good alternative for popularity.
Thank you for those who stuck around and knocked my head while I was down with the self-destructive habits that almost veered me off the track. It is ironic that i am thankful for all that happened too. The lessons gave me a big fat blast of self-awareness and confidence. I will never be that naive or stupid ever again.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
PMS
When I was a teenager, I used to laugh at pms articles. Headstrong with clear black and white view of the world, I scoffed at the so called outbursts by women were actually caused hormones rather than lack of self-control.
Besides the pain and discomfort, emotions seem to be all over the place during these weeks. Thoughts and feelings that I push away and refuse to acknowledge come back smoldering. Sometimes it ends in tears, and sometimes that makes it better.
We force ourselves to finish the bare minimum for the day, with back aches and muscle cramps, while trying not to be rude and unreasonably cranky, where no sitting or sleeping position relieves the pain. Sex better be as great as they say it is.
aNd why on earth we bleed when all boys do is wank themselves, and enjoy themselves in the process?
Besides the pain and discomfort, emotions seem to be all over the place during these weeks. Thoughts and feelings that I push away and refuse to acknowledge come back smoldering. Sometimes it ends in tears, and sometimes that makes it better.
We force ourselves to finish the bare minimum for the day, with back aches and muscle cramps, while trying not to be rude and unreasonably cranky, where no sitting or sleeping position relieves the pain. Sex better be as great as they say it is.
aNd why on earth we bleed when all boys do is wank themselves, and enjoy themselves in the process?
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Dolphins at riverside.
Soft,warm and purple,the shiny steamed eggplant was stuffed with deliciously marinated meat. Next, we tasted seafood wrapped in delicate sheet of white flour. Yum Cha. Where my best friend and i pig out late on a Sunday morning.
We ate with a gusto, after a great night out. It started with Trina's graduation dinner at a lovely Italian place.It started with Freakonomics, the conversation. Floating in the realm of ideas and opinions, it was almost relaxing,natural and joyful. Some people prefer light banter, but it seemed too tempting to ignore, to explore, to challenge my belief system. What is right? Inherent feelings and its warping with logic. Another perception,another detail, another principle,another reason. Spiritual growth and friendship. Are they one and the same?
Little Jumbo, for such a cute name, the place seemed a little too sophisticated. Lilting, jazzy music wafted around the candlelit tables. Pretty cocktails. Happiness. Perfect place to reward oneself. I hope for a lot of nights like this when I am working one day, hopefully with someone whom i regard as my soul mate.
Back to the jasmine tea at Yum cha. We walk out of the restaurant satiated and like all girls, start shopping. We were goofing around when we tumbled upon Shlix, a gelato place as good as Il Dolce Fredo in Melbourne. Winter in Brisbane is not really winter, and the creamy, soft coloured flavours of gelato is just what we could not resist.
Impulsiveness goes hand in hand with a quirky sense of adventure. Kylie and I decided to walk the hilly roads all the way to New Farm where we found a magnificent view of the Story Bridge. We also saw beautiful newlyweds and their family. The bride was radiant.Her blue eyes were dancing with joy whereas the groom's eyes was tender and never wavering far away from his lady trapped in layers of crushed white lace. Mellowed with thoughts how lovely life was,we walk down the hill to stroll by the river.
Dup.dUp.DUp.DuP.Same feelings,same urges,same trains of thought.
The strangely hypnotising music under the massive bridge kept us rooted on the spot. Then we screamed. As loud and as long as possible before bursting into fits of giggles.
A little glimpse of a fin. Was it a shark? I yelped excitedly and grabbed Russell and Kylie. We waited and waited, but nothing seemed to be in the water. I saw it!..so i waited. A while later we spotted not only one but two dolphins! They were swimming playfully in sync in the stinking Brisbane river. We decided this was the highlight of the day and followed them all the way to Riverside. Then,we watched sunset in silence.
Later, we walked into the Groove Thing for the first time, and i liked wine for the first time. The classy yet homely interior design, the river and the gorgeous food is probably what that made Rachel choose this place for her birthday this weekend.
It was now getting dark. We were wrong about the highlight of the day. We had two. The moon was so large and low on the horizon,I thought it was the streetlight. City ferry ride across the river to our favourite fish and chips place. We had dinner and I head to Batavia to wait for another set of friends to watch Batman.
Batavia and a book.oh boy. I am definitely doing this again. They make the best tea. The chai aroma captured the beauty of the heavy Indian/Arab decoration. I read a book that was almost decorated similarly. Beauty was strangely tangible that night.
Batman. It was violent. Why does the society shrieks at physical violence and treats emotional violence lightly? Heath Ledger's acting was great, and his emotional depth made me wonder what was really going on with him. My heart hurt for him,and i wondered how many more people in the world, look alright from the outside but are in a spiralling turmoil, slowly withering away.
I cried all the way home.
It was such a perfect day, my first day of holiday.
p/s:Christian Bale was hot.
We ate with a gusto, after a great night out. It started with Trina's graduation dinner at a lovely Italian place.It started with Freakonomics, the conversation. Floating in the realm of ideas and opinions, it was almost relaxing,natural and joyful. Some people prefer light banter, but it seemed too tempting to ignore, to explore, to challenge my belief system. What is right? Inherent feelings and its warping with logic. Another perception,another detail, another principle,another reason. Spiritual growth and friendship. Are they one and the same?
Little Jumbo, for such a cute name, the place seemed a little too sophisticated. Lilting, jazzy music wafted around the candlelit tables. Pretty cocktails. Happiness. Perfect place to reward oneself. I hope for a lot of nights like this when I am working one day, hopefully with someone whom i regard as my soul mate.
Back to the jasmine tea at Yum cha. We walk out of the restaurant satiated and like all girls, start shopping. We were goofing around when we tumbled upon Shlix, a gelato place as good as Il Dolce Fredo in Melbourne. Winter in Brisbane is not really winter, and the creamy, soft coloured flavours of gelato is just what we could not resist.
Impulsiveness goes hand in hand with a quirky sense of adventure. Kylie and I decided to walk the hilly roads all the way to New Farm where we found a magnificent view of the Story Bridge. We also saw beautiful newlyweds and their family. The bride was radiant.Her blue eyes were dancing with joy whereas the groom's eyes was tender and never wavering far away from his lady trapped in layers of crushed white lace. Mellowed with thoughts how lovely life was,we walk down the hill to stroll by the river.
Dup.dUp.DUp.DuP.Same feelings,same urges,same trains of thought.
The strangely hypnotising music under the massive bridge kept us rooted on the spot. Then we screamed. As loud and as long as possible before bursting into fits of giggles.
A little glimpse of a fin. Was it a shark? I yelped excitedly and grabbed Russell and Kylie. We waited and waited, but nothing seemed to be in the water. I saw it!..so i waited. A while later we spotted not only one but two dolphins! They were swimming playfully in sync in the stinking Brisbane river. We decided this was the highlight of the day and followed them all the way to Riverside. Then,we watched sunset in silence.
Later, we walked into the Groove Thing for the first time, and i liked wine for the first time. The classy yet homely interior design, the river and the gorgeous food is probably what that made Rachel choose this place for her birthday this weekend.
It was now getting dark. We were wrong about the highlight of the day. We had two. The moon was so large and low on the horizon,I thought it was the streetlight. City ferry ride across the river to our favourite fish and chips place. We had dinner and I head to Batavia to wait for another set of friends to watch Batman.
Batavia and a book.oh boy. I am definitely doing this again. They make the best tea. The chai aroma captured the beauty of the heavy Indian/Arab decoration. I read a book that was almost decorated similarly. Beauty was strangely tangible that night.
Batman. It was violent. Why does the society shrieks at physical violence and treats emotional violence lightly? Heath Ledger's acting was great, and his emotional depth made me wonder what was really going on with him. My heart hurt for him,and i wondered how many more people in the world, look alright from the outside but are in a spiralling turmoil, slowly withering away.
I cried all the way home.
It was such a perfect day, my first day of holiday.
p/s:Christian Bale was hot.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A little pick-me-up :)
Sometimes, when I feel lost,bruised and beaten, i read this email from mum.
It never fails to put a smile on my face, and the day gets better.
Much love, Lava
They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy.......
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned....That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned....That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned....That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned....That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned....That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned....That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned....That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned....That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned...That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned....That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned...That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned....That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned....That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned....That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned....That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
It never fails to put a smile on my face, and the day gets better.
Much love, Lava
They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. Enjoy.......
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned....That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned....That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned....That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned....That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned....That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned....That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned....That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned....That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned...That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned....That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned...That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned....That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned....That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned....That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned....That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Happiness
She could almost taste it, the constant beginning of smiles.
A few pages to dwell on first. Relaxing, sunny morning ferry ride, passing the tall, formidable buildings. Bright blue, glimmering water by riverside, the cold air kisses her plump cheeks, letting strands of hair run astray. The yachts dance lightly with ripples from the citycat on the left while the smartly dressed crowd sip on their coffee in the trendy cafes littered on the right.
She peeks again at the lapping water, then the sky, calmness sweeping over. Confidence.
Up the curvy stairs. Magnificent architecture.
Keep walking, trying to be graceful in heels, till she reaches her destination. She now sees herself, for what she could not perceive before. The difference is, now she also envisions what others perhaps, did not see in her.
A dream, of values and mind, fused together.
A few pages to dwell on first. Relaxing, sunny morning ferry ride, passing the tall, formidable buildings. Bright blue, glimmering water by riverside, the cold air kisses her plump cheeks, letting strands of hair run astray. The yachts dance lightly with ripples from the citycat on the left while the smartly dressed crowd sip on their coffee in the trendy cafes littered on the right.
She peeks again at the lapping water, then the sky, calmness sweeping over. Confidence.
Up the curvy stairs. Magnificent architecture.
Keep walking, trying to be graceful in heels, till she reaches her destination. She now sees herself, for what she could not perceive before. The difference is, now she also envisions what others perhaps, did not see in her.
A dream, of values and mind, fused together.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Of trust and friendships
Friendship is weird.
Full laughter and sillyness.
Happy times and tears.
Respect and kindness,
Tenderness and trust.
No standards to be lived up to.
It is a funny feeling.
Full laughter and sillyness.
Happy times and tears.
Respect and kindness,
Tenderness and trust.
No standards to be lived up to.
It is a funny feeling.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Conversations and friends
Perspectives and attitudes.
When life is harsh, how people react is the next page of the past.
If you swam with sharks and reefs, then i think you prefer stargate to ugly betty.
If you got all you want, you may become a spoilt brat with a sweet naive finishing.
Romantics, second chancers, forgive and forget-ers.
The optimists call them, well optimists.
As for the realistic breed, is that adulthood?
When life is harsh, how people react is the next page of the past.
If you swam with sharks and reefs, then i think you prefer stargate to ugly betty.
If you got all you want, you may become a spoilt brat with a sweet naive finishing.
Romantics, second chancers, forgive and forget-ers.
The optimists call them, well optimists.
As for the realistic breed, is that adulthood?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Sex and engineering
"It is good for a woman to keep her senseof humour intact and at the ready.She must be see, even if only in secret, that she is the funniest woman in the world, which she should also see as being the most absurd world of all times" - Maya Angelou
This quote was lingering in my mind, as I sat with my friends discussing shafts, lubrication and hardness. And I giggled to myself, not wanting to shock the serious-looking guys with the direction of my wandering thoughts.
This quote was lingering in my mind, as I sat with my friends discussing shafts, lubrication and hardness. And I giggled to myself, not wanting to shock the serious-looking guys with the direction of my wandering thoughts.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Work?
Planning,dreaming,discipline.
What do you want?....fuck reality...what you hope,you can become.
Reality is imagination in action.
I have a problem.its perfectionism. I am not sure how to deal with it. And at the moment, I am too busy being perfect.
What do you want?....fuck reality...what you hope,you can become.
Reality is imagination in action.
I have a problem.its perfectionism. I am not sure how to deal with it. And at the moment, I am too busy being perfect.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Weekend, of life and love
Sleeeepppp! And I wake up fine.
It is so easy to forget to count my blessings, to remember to cherish all that i have. And what I have is in abundance.
It is so easy to forget to count my blessings, to remember to cherish all that i have. And what I have is in abundance.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Tired
I am really really out of at the moment, waking up even more exhausted than when i hit the bed. At this moment, just for a while I want to leave it all. Perhaps it is a momentary loss of sight of my goals,lost of motivation, drive and reason. I just wanna go home, back to mum and dad where it is safe and warm.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Healing
It is a sinusoidal path, the cure for an addiction
Clear-headed and in focus, it is easy to fool yourself that you are in control. Fleetingly feeling almost as good as new. Not lost. Nor broken. The next thing you know, waves of familiarness rushes by, washing away painstakingly placed puzzles.
Thank God for damping.
Clear-headed and in focus, it is easy to fool yourself that you are in control. Fleetingly feeling almost as good as new. Not lost. Nor broken. The next thing you know, waves of familiarness rushes by, washing away painstakingly placed puzzles.
Thank God for damping.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
sOLITUDE
Hugged by four creamy walls, shaded by the lake at the window, I watch, as the colours splash across the canvas of the horizon. Flowers litter in the rolling green grounds while the playful birds sing at a distance. There is so much beauty, where I live.
Quiet time for reflection.
Strange yet familiar, the tinge of calmness sweeps over. Heartbeats slow own. A launch-pad outside the membrane of your world; serendipity.
It is not what you have accomplished, what you have or what you look like.
This is you, peacefully indulging in a realm above superficiality.
Quiet time for reflection.
Strange yet familiar, the tinge of calmness sweeps over. Heartbeats slow own. A launch-pad outside the membrane of your world; serendipity.
It is not what you have accomplished, what you have or what you look like.
This is you, peacefully indulging in a realm above superficiality.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Lost
Contradiction.
There are moments of pure panic when the real me surfaces to strangers. Yet, I like myself. Once I trust, however, it takes a bulldozer to shovel that faith. Of course, in the process you have the green card to shard me.
It was scary, but you were my best friend, I let you in, put a hole in the old fences. When I found out how far back all these took place, it felt like someone ripped my heart apart all over again. Why did you lie to me?
You made a choice, and I had a right to know from the beginning.Grieving and second guessing what went wrong between us was so confusing and wrenching.I really tried hating you, but I do not have it in me. So here I am, letting the undeserving you trample all over my heart.
For the first time,it feels like a sham, the memories cheapened and respect lost.
There are moments of pure panic when the real me surfaces to strangers. Yet, I like myself. Once I trust, however, it takes a bulldozer to shovel that faith. Of course, in the process you have the green card to shard me.
It was scary, but you were my best friend, I let you in, put a hole in the old fences. When I found out how far back all these took place, it felt like someone ripped my heart apart all over again. Why did you lie to me?
You made a choice, and I had a right to know from the beginning.Grieving and second guessing what went wrong between us was so confusing and wrenching.I really tried hating you, but I do not have it in me. So here I am, letting the undeserving you trample all over my heart.
For the first time,it feels like a sham, the memories cheapened and respect lost.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Fear
Your past, commitments, ties and loyalties
They are a sense of belonging.A sense of worth and balance.They envelope you like a warm mothers hug. A the bed of soft, balmy grass you can fall back on when you suddenly turn around and find yourself lost among kaleidoscope of time.
How do they cloud your judgements , views and actions?
Sometimes the fear of the unfamiliar. Freeze.
Avoiding a new experience,demonizing a new theory, shunning the unconventional.Fear. Where a dolphin appears as a razor-sharp, blood-thirsty shark
They are a sense of belonging.A sense of worth and balance.They envelope you like a warm mothers hug. A the bed of soft, balmy grass you can fall back on when you suddenly turn around and find yourself lost among kaleidoscope of time.
How do they cloud your judgements , views and actions?
Sometimes the fear of the unfamiliar. Freeze.
Avoiding a new experience,demonizing a new theory, shunning the unconventional.Fear. Where a dolphin appears as a razor-sharp, blood-thirsty shark
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